Misconbobulation
by Plaidly Lush
Summary: Oneshot. While doing research in the library, Ginny comes upon Draco and Hermione, and overhears something rather disturbing. What could it be?


~~Misconbobulation~~

Ginny was searching for books on vampires for a History of Magic essay in the library when she heard Draco Malfoy's voice. 

"I don't understand what happened. I was fine this morning, but now- nothing. I just can't seem to concentrate." 

"Sometimes you just need to take a break, darling." That was Hermione answering. They had been romantically involved for almost a year. 

"A break? Me? Ha! Malfoys are known for our incredible stamina."

"Stamina is right! We were at it for five hours last night. I almost wanted to stop and just go to bed, but I was having so much fun!" 

Holy mother of god, what were those two getting up to! Ginny's hand paused on the spine of a book she had been about to slip off the shelf. 

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it." 

"That's a bit of an understatement. It was amazing." 

"Yes, I've heard that before, from many people." 

"Oh, be quiet Draco. You haven't done it with *that* many people." 

"More than I can count on one hand. Can you say the same thing?" 

"The people *you* know wouldn't have been up to anything like that. I doubt they have the *stamina*. I'd bet money that their minds would break." 

That sounded rather kinky to Ginny…maybe she should stage an intervention. She'd talk to Ron about it, but he would probably pummel Malfoy if he found out. 

"Ah, they're tougher than they look." 

"Even Crabbe and Goyle?" 

"Well, you have an excellent point. But the two of them are, oh, indisposed at the moment, if you remember. I never did it with them, anyway. I have standards, you know." 

"Yes, I do, and I'm glad." 

"You should be. I mean, it would be rather depraved to go around doing that with just anybody." 

"*Depraved* might be a little strong…" 

"Not if you consider Crabbe and Goyle." 

"Ugh, I don't." Thank Merlin, Ginny thought. "That would be unhealthy. Even considering them, I mean." 

"What an awful mental picture I just had." 

"Those poor books…it's horrible." Books? What was this about books? *Oh, it's worse than I thought!* 

"They never got anywhere near *my* books. Merlin knows what they would have done with them." Books must be code for something. Must be. 

"Definitely nothing to do with their intended purpose." 

"Well, obviously. They wouldn't be smart enough for that. They would have been completely lost last night." 

"Oh, now *I'm* having a bad mental picture. Them…with us…oh the horror." In Ginny's opinion, those two oafs with *anyone* was a bad mental picture. 

"Don't get me started, Hermione. We could go on with the bad mental images all day. I could tell you stories- but I won't." 

"That's good." It certainly was. Ginny did not want to hear any stories of that kind. 

"So, should we try again tonight?" 

"Why wait that long? We can go back after class. That's give us a few extra hours, at least." What a vixen Hermione was turning into! Draco Malfoy was a bad influence. 

"We'll need all the time we can get. We'll start at three fifteen, then?" 

"Of course. Don't worry, I don't mind waiting so much. Grangers our known for our perseverance, after all. Maybe a little of mine will rub off on you." Well, something of his seemed already to have rubbed off on her…

"Oh, I have plenty of that. I just need the proper stimulation." 

"I think with my encouragement, it won't take long to get you excited." What, had she been practicing?

"I wholeheartedly agree." Apparently she had, on him. "You do have a way with those books…" 

"Try to work yourself up during class. Just so you're prepared, you know." Wow. Ginny never thought she'd see the day when Hermione would encourage anyone to do something like that during class. *I mean, Hermione can have a sex life, but during class? Really, now.* 

"I'll do that. After all, you know how much I love Arithmancy." Now, she always knew Draco was intellectual, but she never would have wanted to know that he got off on it. 

"Of course. After that class you should have no problem…you do like those numbers, don't you?" 

"You know it." He had just given Hermione an audible wink. 

"Oh, bugger. If we don't hurry, we'll be late." 

There was a rustle as they gathered their belongings to go to Arithmancy. Ginny realized that she should be going as well, but she could not leave until they did. She didn't want them to know she had heard…*that*. 

"So our study session is set for tonight, then. I can't wait." Hermione's voice faded as they left. 

Study session! Gods in the Heavens! In all the world, only Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy could talk about studying in such a provocative, erotic, and frankly rather *sickening* way! 

End 

~~~~~~~~~~

Well, so this is obviously a misheard conversation. I just added the very last bit because I thought it might help some people out. Anyway, please review and stuff. Virtual hugs to reviewers, death on swift wings to whomsoever does not review, and your house burning-by-the-flame-you-sent-because-I-sent-it-back-from-whence-it-came to flamers. So there. 


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